Sexual Health

7 things to know about drug-facilitated sexual assault

Anonymous — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 16:11:11 +0000

7 things to know about drug-facilitated sexual assault Anonymous (not verified) Fri, 03/27/2026 - 10:11

If you or a friend is concerned that a drug-facilitated sexual assault has happened, you can reach out to OVA for free and confidential support.

Sexual assaults are often carried out by friends, acquaintances, partners, exes or by a person someone has just met online or at a party. Perpetrators often rely on substances (with or without the other person’s knowledge) to commit sexual assault.

Here are seven things you should know about drug-facilitated sexual assault and drink spiking.

1. What is drug-facilitated sexual assault?

The blame for sexual assault rests with the person who committed the assault.

Many survivors have feelings of self-blame after a sexual assault, including when someone takes advantage of them through the use of alcohol or other drugs. It’s important to remember that even when someone chooses to use substances, they are not giving up their bodily autonomy or choosing to be violated.

There are two primary ways that drug-facilitated sexual assault occurs.

A person takes advantage of someone’s voluntary use of alcohol or other drugs.
A person intentionally forces someone to consume alcohol or other drugs with or without their knowledge to manipulate the situation and commit sexual assault. This can include tactics like spiking drinks.

2. What should you look out for?

If you’re at a party or out with friends, it’s important to keep an eye out for sketchy situations that may indicate that someone is trying to facilitate sexual assault by using alcohol or other drugs.

Watch out for someone who is:

Coercing or pressuring someone to drink more or to take more drugs than they are comfortable with. This might sound like “Come one, take another shot.”
Initiating sexual contact with someone because they are intoxicated.
Isolating someone from their friends or the rest of the party.
Not telling someone what is in their drink or the type of dosage of drug they are ingesting. This might sound like “It will taste good; don’t worry about what’s in it.”

3. What are some common signs of a drugged drink?

Many symptoms of drugging are similar to those someone might experience from excessive drinking or purposefully mixing substances. Often, there is a sudden change in how someone feels or behaves. These symptoms typically occur quickly even when someone has consumed very little or no alcohol, and can be intensified if they were already under the influence

Signs of drugging to watch for:

Sudden onset of feeling drunk without having had much or any alcohol
Sudden difficulty breathing
Sudden dizziness, disorientation or blurred vision
Sudden nausea
Sudden body temperature that may result in sweating or teeth chattering
Waking up with no memory or missing large portions of memory

4. What should you do if you believe someone has been drugged?

You do not need to know if what you are witnessing is the outcome of a drugged drink, overdose, or alcohol poisoning to be able to offer help. If you notice any of the symptoms listed above in yourself or someone else, find a trusted person immediately. If someone is losing consciousness, put them in the recovery position.

Learn how to respond in alcohol or other drug emergencies

Friends and bystanders are particularly important in situations when someone is vulnerable due to intoxication. Stay with the person you are concerned about. If they are alert enough to leave the party or bar, use the buddy system to try and get them home or to emergency care.

Learn effective intervention strategies

If someone tells you after the fact that they can’t remember what happened during a night out or that their drink was drugged, offer support. You can validate how that must feel for them and aka their lead on how they might want to move forward.

5. What are some medical options?

Find support resources or a medical center that can provide medical forensic exams for sexual assault and test blood and/or urine for substances.

С�� Medical Services at Wardenburg Health Center provides urine testing for drugs, pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
The two local hospitals with 24/7 nurses trained in medical forensic exams can be found here.

If someone suspects that they have been drugged, steps can be taken to preserve evidence for a possible criminal investigation. Many of these drugs leave the body quickly (typically within 12 to 72 hours). If someone can’t go to the hospital immediately, they can save their urine in a clean, sealable container as soon as possible and place it in the fridge. Urine drug screen samples are stable at room temperature for up to 36 hours. However, if the sample is not tested immediately, it should be refrigerated at 2-8 degrees Celsius for a maximum of four days.

6. What substances can be used to facilitate sexual assault?

Alcohol is the most used substance in drug-facilitated sexual assault.

Other substances can also be slipped into alcoholic or non-alcoholic drinks. This is often referred to as drink spiking. Many drugs do not change the color, flavor, or odor of the beverage.

Substances that are often used to spike drinks include:

Prescription drugs like sleep aids, anxiety medication, muscle relaxers and/or tranquilizers.
Over- the- counter medications like Benadryl, which can increase intoxication when mixed with alcohol.
Street drugs like GHB, Rohypnol (‘roofies’), ecstasy, molly and/or ketamine (K).

7. What support resources are available?

If someone believes that they have been drugged or sexually assaulted, there are resources available to help.

Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) - Confidential resource
OVA provides free and confidential information, consultation, support, advocacy and short-term, trauma-focused counseling services for students, staff and faculty who have experienced and/or witnessed a traumatic or disturbing event, including sexual assault, physical assault, and/or drugging.

Don’t Ignore It
The Don’t Ignore It website provides information about reporting, getting support and helping a friend. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Don’t ignore it.

Police
To have a case investigated by law enforcement, contact the police department where the experience happened. If it happens on campus or one is not sure about the jurisdiction, contact С�� Boulder Police (С��PD) for support. For emergencies, call or text 911. The С��PD non-emergency line is 303-492-6666 or visit the website.

Office of Institutional Equity and Compliance (OIEC)
OIEC implements and enforces university policies around sexual assault, intimate partner abuse and stalking, and other forms of sexual misconduct. If you or someone you know at С�� has been impacted, reports can be filed online. Anonymously reporting is an option as well.

Support for international students, staff and faculty
Individuals who have experienced certain crimes, such as sexual assault or domestic violence, may be eligible for U.S. immigration relief through the U visa or VAWA self-petition, regardless of their immigration status. Please speak with an immigration attorney or a non-profit organization that assists immigrants to learn more about the eligibility requirements, application process, and timeline. Learn more about free or low-cost legal immigration services.

Alcohol and other substances are often used to commit sexual assault. Here are some things you should know about drug-facilitated sexual assault and drink spiking.

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6 things everyone should know about ‘love bombing’

Anonymous — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 15:29:00 +0000

6 things everyone should know about ‘love bombing’ Anonymous (not verified) Fri, 02/13/2026 - 08:29

New relationships are exciting, especially when there’s an instant spark. In many cases, feeling connected and comfortable can be a sign of a supportive relationship. But some relationships that start off feeling great can shift in ways that are not so good once the excitement and novelty wear off.

Here are six things to know about love bombing.

1. What is love bombing?

‘Love bombing’ is a term used to describe overwhelming and often incongruent affection during the early stages of a friendship or dating relationship. One person goes above and beyond to please the other person by giving excessive compliments, pushing for commitment or more time together, making grand gestures and sending over-the-top gifts. Rather than feeling cared for or connected, the outcome makes the recipient feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or manipulated.

2. What does love bombing look like?

Knowing how to identify what feels good and what doesn’t can help inform discussions around boundaries and comfort level in any relationship. It can also serve as a guide for making important decisions about the relationship moving forward.

Here are some behaviors to pay attention to:

Extreme flattery

Receiving compliments can make us feel good and boost our confidence. On the flip side, too many compliments can feel overwhelming.

Love bombing can include:

Giving sweeping compliments before they really know someone.
Insisting on how much better or more unique someone is compared to other people, especially their exes or other friends.
Flattering someone so much that the compliments may feel forced, fake or inauthentic.

Getting too personal too quickly

Getting to know someone is important. If someone is getting too personal too quickly, it may feel invasive or awkward.

Love bombing can include:

Readily divulging highly personal details within the first few encounters (e.g. detailed dating history, medical/psychiatric history, financial or family issues, etc.).
Asking probing questions or pry in an effort to know everything about someone right away.
Asking the other person to share secrets with them before properly earning their trust.

Pressure to commit

All relationships have different timelines. If someone takes the reins or forces a relationship to move faster than the other person is comfortable with, it may be a sign to pause.

Love bombing can include:

Pressuring someone to commit to a relationship very early in the relationship.
Insisting on meeting close friends or family early on.
Having early and intense talks about the relationship’s future such as “when we move in together” or “I can’t imagine my future without you.”

Declarations of love

Deeper connections don’t happen overnight, even if sparks fly on the first encounter.

Love bombing can include:

Insisting on being soulmates.
Making big displays of affection or grand gestures in public or on social media.
Saying “I love you” very early on in a relationship (and may get upset if the sentiment is not reciprocated).

Intense clinginess

It’s normal to want to text, call and spend time with a new friend or potential partner. However, if someone becomes too clingy, it may quickly feel off putting.

Love bombing can include:

Texting, calling or asking to hang out non-stop, even if the other person is busy.
Inviting themselves along to the other person’s plans.
Making the other person feel guilty for ‘neglecting’ them.

Over-the-top gifts

Gifts can be a nice gesture, and if they are excessive or feel conditional, it can be a sign that someone is trying to exploit or manipulate others.

Love bombing can include:

Showering others in unneeded or unwanted gifts.
Taking gift-giving to an extreme (e.g. buying five bouquets of flowers instead of one).
Buying overly expensive or excessive gifts early on (e.g. jewelry, electronics, travel, etc.)

Constant reassurance

Everyone has insecurities, but if someone needs constant reassurance, praise or validation, it may be a sign of concern.

Love bombing can include:

Putting themselves down with the expectation that their partners will reassure them.
Getting upset when their friend or partner doesn’t respond to texts or get back to them quickly enough.
Asking for confirmation of the other person’s love for them or reassurance that they’re just as committed to the relationship.

Important note

In any relationship, it’s important to be mindful of our own emotions and experiences. If someone feels embarrassed about the intensity of a new relationship or downplays it because they worry people may judge them, those are good signs that someone may need to reflect on the relationship. Most importantly, if something feels off, it should be explored. There isn’t an obligation to stay in a relationship when it isn’t working.

3. What makes love bombing harmful?

People in any relationship need time to build trust, to practice helpful communication strategies, and to figure out how to disagree constructively. The overwhelming nature of love bombing artificially builds a sense that love exists before people in a relationship have had time to actually build trust. Overtime, relationships that don’t have established boundaries and supportive habits can turn hurtful.

Without a history of growing together, people in a relationship may try to get their needs met using other strategies. That can include someone trying to control the other person.

Here are some hurtful behaviors to look out for:

Limiting a person’s access to friends or family
Gaslighting the other person (e.g. shifting blame, denying the truth, minimizing or dismissing the needs of others, using love or friendship as an excuse for harmful behaviors, “forgetting” something that took place, etc.)
Acting out of unreasonable jealousy
Engaging in other abusive behaviors like intimidation or physical harm

4. What could someone do if they suspect love bombing?

Love bombing behaviors and patterns can be subtle. Keep in mind that kind gestures aren’t automatically indicative of love bombing or manipulation. If someone is in a new relationship and feels like something is amiss, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to terminate the relationship. Instead, they may just need to slow down and reflect on how they are feeling and what they want.

Here are some strategies you can use:

Discuss boundaries

Boundaries represent the limits, rules or expectations that protect personal well-being. Setting and enforcing boundaries can help us navigate relationships in a more positive way and avoid feelings of anger, resentment or burnout over things that may have otherwise been left unsaid. Consider:

How much time do we want to spend together in person, texting, or calling throughout the day?
How soon do we want to meet friends or family members?
What types of displays of affection are we comfortable with?

Take inventory

Taking time to reflect on our life and relationships can help us identify what is going well and what is not. When taking inventory of a relationship, it’s important to account for our own perspective and experience and the experience and perspective of the other person. For instance, it’s important to consider where both people are coming from, what is wanted in the relationship and how to move forward with one another if something isn’t working.

Consider reflecting on:

Is time spent differently than before the relationship? Is that working or not?
Has a relationship resulted in losing touch with other friends when that isn’t wanted?
Do both people want the same things out of the relationship?
Exploring answers to these questions can clarify whether a relationship is helpful for everyone involved.

Learn to recognize helpful behaviors in a relationship

Talk to an objective third party

Friends, family members, mental health providers, and other mentors might help us gain perspective on a new relationship. Choosing a trusted person who can offer some objectivity and less judgment may be helpful given the topic.

Someone may want perspective on:

Identifying concerns about a relationship that they might be missing or minimizing.
Exploring boundaries
Identifying what they value in a friend or partner

Accept that sometimes things just don’t work out

It can be difficult to give ourselves permission to change or leave a relationship that feels hurtful/unhelpful and it requires that we show ourselves compassion and kindness through this process.

Check out these helpful and unhelpful relationship behaviors

Prioritize your safety

If a romantic partner or friend oversteps boundaries or makes someone question their safety, including when attempting to end a relationship, it can be important to have a safety plan in place.

Check out these safety planning tips

5. How can I help a friend who is being love bombed?

It’s never a good idea to try and control someone else’s behavior. This is true even when we are trying to be good friends and get our loved ones out of relationships that don’t seem all that great. When we try to convince or persuade others, we often lose our ability to be a supportive listener and forfeit our loved one’s trust in the process. Opening up a conversation and holding space for a friend to process whether or not they think they want to make a change or not is one of the best ways to offer support.

Here are a few tips for starting a conversation if you suspect someone is in an unhealthy relationship

6. What resources are available?

If you or someone you know is struggling with behaviors in a relationship, there are resources available to help.

Campus resources

The Office of Victim Assistance (OVA)

OVA provides free and confidential trauma-specific counseling and advocacy for students, staff and faculty around various traumatic experiences, including intimate partner abuse and domestic violence. Call 303-492-8855 (24/7) to talk to an advocacy counselor. Information related to intimate partner abuse is available on their website.

Available for: students, staff, faculty

Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS)

CAPS works with students to address a variety of mental health concerns, including navigating relationships. They also offer process therapy groups to help students learn valuable skills related to building and maintaining healthy relationships with friends, family and romantic partners.

Available for: students

Faculty and Staff Assistance Program (FSAP)

All С�� Boulder staff and faculty can access free counseling services through FSAP, including short-term individual, relationship and family counseling. Employees do not need to use paid time off (PTO) or sick time in order to access FSAP services, including during the workday. FSAP offers various workshops.

Available for: staff, faculty

Don’t Ignore It

This free online resource can help students, staff, faculty and community members navigate reporting options and get help for themselves or others. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Don't ignore it.

Available for: students, staff, faculty

Community resources

The Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence (SPAN)

SPAN provides a number of services to the Boulder community, including a 24/7 crisis line, shelter, counseling, legal advocacy, housing and transitional services and anti-violence education.

Violence Free Colorado

This organization can provide information on shelters and 24/7 hotlines throughout Colorado. They also provide other information related to intimate partner abuse and domestic violence specific to Colorado.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

This hotline is available 24/7 and offers support in more than 200 languages at 1-800-799-7233. You can also chat with someone through their website at thehotline.org/help. All phone calls and chats are confidential.

The Trevor Project

The Trevor Project provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ communities. Access 24/7 support by calling 1-866-488-7386. Support is also available through online chat and texting.

New relationships are often exciting. However, a relationship that starts off feeling great can also shift in ways that are not so great once the excitement and novelty wear off.

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3 things everyone should know about stalking

Emily Sampl — Mon, 12 Jan 2026 07:00:00 +0000

3 things everyone should know about stalking Emily Sampl Mon, 01/12/2026 - 00:00

January is Stalking Awareness Month

Popular culture, like shows and movies, can make it seem like persistence is the key to winning someone over. However, persistence can quickly turn into discomfort or fear when it’s unwelcome. Here are a few things everyone should know about stalking.

1. Stalking can take many forms

Stalking can include a variety of tactics, both in person and online, of persistent unwanted behavior or contact, directed at a specific person, which causes that person to change their routine or feel afraid, threatened or in danger.

Appropriate behaviors are: When someone says “no” and the other person respectfully leaves them alone and does not attempt to contact them again.
Concerning behaviors are: When someone says “no” and the other person continues to contact them again and again.

Examples of stalking behaviors may include:

Continually sending unwanted communications (including emails, texts, phone calls, handwritten notes, etc.).
Contacting or using other people to get information about a person or to find them.
Waiting for someone or showing up at places where they know the person will be such as their home, workplace or outside of classrooms.
Watching or following someone from a distance or spying on someone with a listening device, camera, tracking device or GPS.
Repeatedly leaving unwanted gifts, notes or other objects at a person’s residence, work, car or other location.
Catfishing or friending someone through fake accounts (to harass or trick the person).
Stealing or harming someone’s technological devices, schoolwork or other property, sentimental objects, people close to them or pets.
Entering someone’s home, lab, office or car and doing things to let someone know they had been there.
Hacking into someone’s social media, email or other accounts.

Here are some ways to identify appropriate and concerning behaviors that may prompt someone to seek additional help or support: /ova/difference-between-helpful-and-unhelpful-behaviors-relationships

2. Context is key

While stalking is often directed at a previous or current romantic partner, someone can also be stalked by roommates, friends, classmates, colleagues or someone they have never met or barely know, including matches on dating apps.

Gift giving, location tracking or sending multiple texts can be components of any relationship. It can feel really special for a roommate to bring a coffee just because they care or have friends checking an app to make sure someone got home safe. The key here is that these behaviors are wanted and help increase a sense of safety within the relationship instead of making someone feel untrusted or controlled.

From the outside, stalking may look innocuous, but to the person experiencing it, the behavior makes them feel unsafe or threatened. The context of the behavior and the impact it has on the recipient is what matters.

3. Help is available

It is worth noticing when someone else continues to contact you or your friend after they have been told “no” more than once. Consider sharing what is happening with someone else, or documenting dates and times of occurrences.

You do not have to resolve this on your own, especially when someone repeatedly shows up where they ought not be, makes indirect threats, or does not take “no” for an answer. Confidential advocates, law enforcement, and other professionals are here to help.

When someone makes direct threats or tries to harm or does harm another person or property, consider calling 911.

Stalking violates С��’s campus policies and is considered a serious crime in Colorado. С�� Boulder provides a number of reporting and support options for those experiencing stalking.

Support resources for students, staff and faculty

If you or someone you know is experiencing stalking behaviors, it’s important to connect them with appropriate support resources and services.

General support

The Don’t Ignore It website provides options for seeking confidential support on and off campus, skills for helping others and reporting options related to sexual misconduct, stalking, intimate partner abuse, harassment and discrimination, and if someone’s behavior is concerning.

Confidential support

Students, staff and faculty directly impacted by incidents like this, as well as witnesses and friends, can get confidential support and/or counseling through the Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) by calling 303-492-8855, stopping by their drop-in hours (see website for dates and times) or filling out a confidential request form online. This form will only be reviewed by OVA staff—the university will not be notified, and no investigative action will take place. If you would like to get in contact with an OVA advocate counselor, be sure to include your contact information. OVA advocate counselors can help individuals explore their rights and options, make a safety plan, explore the impact of the experience, discuss reporting options, review living situations and more.

Informing the University

If you think you or a friend may be experiencing stalking, you can contact С��’s Office of Institutional Equity and Compliance (OIEC). OIEC can investigate concerns or address an incident through informal resolution options. Additionally, OIEC can provide safety and supportive measures, such as no contact orders, academic support remedies, housing adjustments and more. You can connect with OIEC by calling 303-492-2127, emailing oiec@colorado.edu or filling out a report online.

Informing Law enforcement

Reporting to the police can take many forms and doesn’t have to lead to filing criminal charges. An informational or anonymous report is sometimes an option to make the police aware of the situation. Individuals may have the option to ask police to contact the person to give a verbal warning or press criminal charges. If stalking behaviors have occurred on campus, contact the С�� Boulder Police Department. Otherwise, contact your local police department.

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3 tips for dating in college

Emily Sampl — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 05:00:00 +0000

3 tips for dating in college Emily Sampl Wed, 04/02/2025 - 23:00

If you're using dating apps, consider using these expectations to help you tailor your profile and create meaningful filters. For instance, if you’re looking for something casual, you may want to consider filtering out people who are looking for a relationship or vice versa. Using these features and being honest about what you want allows you to set clear expectations and match with people who want similar things.

If you’re not looking to date or hook up while you’re at С��, that’s okay. However, if you’re in a relationship or open to dating, here are some tips that can help you create a meaningful, healthy and happy relationship.

1) Communicate your intent

To get the most out of dating, consider what you want from the experience. Not all crushes will turn into a relationship, but it can pay off to know what you want from a romantic interest.

Here are a few expectations to talk about together:

Talk through what you might be looking for. Clarify if it’s okay to date or hook up with other people or if you’d prefer to be exclusive. Keep in mind that your wants or expectations may change over time. Having ongoing conversations with your partner as your relationship evolves is key.
Does sharing similar political views, aspirations, lifestyle or other factors matter?
Clarify expectations about who will pay for things on a date. Keep in mind that sharing expenses when dating has been shown to help partners develop healthier boundaries.

It's important to remember that effective communication requires vulnerability. A prospective interest might reject you for having wants that don’t align with their own, which can be a difficult experience. However, having someone clearly communicate their intent, even if it turns out to be rejection, can still be a better outcome than being led on or having a date end poorly.

2) Embrace authenticity and connection

We are all hardwired to seek clarity, safety and stability in our relationships. However, modern dating culture may feel like low accountability and casual interactions are expected. We may feel pressured to play it cool, be chill, minimize what we want/need or avoid committing too early. Feeling constrained by dating norms and expectations can cause increased anxiety and uncertainty.

One way to combat this is to intentionally embrace authenticity and connection. Allow your true self to shine through, whether you’re meeting people online or in person. If you prefer apps, build a profile that reflects who you really are. Don’t be afraid to showcase your personality and values through photos, questionnaires or your bio. Staying true to your authentic self can make it more likely to find meaningful connections.

Remember that you can take it slow and let things evolve. Spend as much time as you need to get to know yourself and a romantic interest.

3) Identify and communicate your boundaries

Boundaries represent the limits, rules or expectations we set for our behavior. Setting healthy boundaries can help us navigate relationships in a more positive way and avoid feelings of anger, resentment, regret or fatigue.

Here are a few examples to consider:

Are you comfortable going out with someone who may be seeing other people at the same time?
Do you want to get to know someone over text before meeting up or meet up with people right away?
What physical touch are you comfortable with on a first date (e.g., handholding, hugging, kissing, sex, etc.)? How do you see physical touch evolving as you get to know someone?
How do you feel about going out with someone who has previously dated a friend or acquaintance?
Are there specific activities you’d like to avoid on dates (e.g., drinking, expensive outings, group events, etc.)?

Clarifying our boundaries in our mind first can help us communicate them and establish a healthy relationship with ourselves and potential partners.

Here are some ways you may set and communicate boundaries on dates:

“I am feeling uncomfortable. Can we do something else that we would both enjoy?”
“I’ve never done [activity] before. I’d like to go on a date with you, and I am down to try it. But if I end up not having a good time, will you be open if our plans need to change?”
“You’re hot and I really like you, but I’m not ready to have sex with you yet. Do you still want to meet up, or does that change your interest in going on our date?”

Be honest about your expectations and trust your gut. If someone dismisses your boundaries or pushes you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, they’re probably not a good fit.

Free guide for exploring sex

Sex is complicated, and you may not always know what you want. This free workbook can help you reflect on your preferences, desires, boundaries and the ways you think about sex.

Get your copy of The Sex Ed Workbook

Resources

While exploring relationships may feel easy and great, it can also be rocky or challenging. Here are some resources that are available for relationship support, self-exploration and more.

Support resources

Let’s Talk

Let’s Talk is a free service where С�� Boulder students can meet for an informal, brief, confidential consultation with a CAPS counselor. Let’s Talk counselors can help provide insight, solutions and information about additional resources. Students commonly visit with concerns about stress, sadness, worry, relationships, academic performance, family problems and financial struggles.

Medical Services

Medical Services offers sexual and reproductive health appointments and resources for all students, including birth control, annual exams, testing for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), HIV prevention medications, free safer sex supplies and more.

Free safer sex supplies

Did you know you can get free safer sex supplies like condoms, dental dams, lube and more? Stop by the first or third floor of Wardenburg Health Center or order a free Buff Box for delivery to your residence hall.

Office of Victim Assistance (OVA)

OVA provides free, confidential trauma-focused counseling, advocacy, information and referrals for all С�� community members, including undergrad and graduate students, staff and faculty. They specialize in addressing current and past life-disruptive events, including but not limited to crime, trauma, sexual assault, partner abuse, experiences of bias, harassment, discrimination, assault, other abuse and violence.

Group therapy

CAPS offers process groups that provide a supportive space for students to deepen self-understanding and explore ways of relating more comfortably to others. This group can help students learn to deal with feelings of depression and anxiety, family dynamics and other personal concerns.

Peer Wellness Coaching

Peer wellness coaches are trained students who can help their fellow Buffs navigate their time at С��. They are here to help students set and achieve their goals related to academic success, relationships, time management, personal wellness and more.

Love bombing

New relationships are exciting, especially when you meet someone you instantly click with. In many cases, feeling connected and comfortable can be a sign of a healthy relationship to come. However, a relationship that starts off feeling great can shift in ways that are not so great once the excitement and novelty wear off. Here are some signs to watch out for.

Stalking

While stalking is often directed at someone from a previous intimate relationship, it can also occur between former friends, roommates or someone the person has never met before, including matches from dating apps. Learn how to identify stalking behaviors and connect with resources.

Intimate partner abuse

Intimate partner abuse occurs in relationships that are or have been intimate. Abuse can take many forms, including verbal, emotional, physical, psychological, sexual, financial or reproductive abuse. Learn how to identify intimate partner abuse and connect with resources, or learn the difference between healthy and abusive behaviors in a relationship.

Sexual assault

Sexual violence and abuse can have lasting impacts on individuals and communities. Learn about sexual assault, consent and resources available for students.

If you’re in a relationship or open to dating, here are some tips that can help you create a meaningful, healthy and happy relationship.

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Drinking and sex: Tricky questions (and surprising answers)

Emily Sampl — Wed, 02 Apr 2025 06:00:00 +0000

Drinking and sex: Tricky questions (and surprising answers) Emily Sampl Wed, 04/02/2025 - 00:00

Sometimes drinking can lead to unintended consequences (like hooking up with a roommate or kissing your ex). Navigating sex can be complicated, especially if alcohol or other drugs are involved.

Here are answers to some of the trickier questions around drinking, sex and consent.

What is consent and how is it given?

Consent is when people mutually agree to engage in sexual activities, whether it’s kissing, touching or sex. Consent consists of words or actions that create a clear understanding of what’s desired. It’s essential for making sex pleasurable.

It’s important to establish consent before fooling around. Consent is about setting personal boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others. It’s important to check in if you’re unsure or things seem unclear.

Here are some consent essentials:

No one should be incapacitated by drugs or alcohol.
Someone can change their mind at any time during a sexual encounter and that choice must be respected.
Agreements are conditional. For instance, if you consent to sex with a condom and your partner doesn’t use one, that’s not consent.
Consenting to one sexual activity doesn’t mean you’ve consented to others. For instance, just because you are making out with someone doesn’t mean that you’ve automatically consented to have sex with them.

Is sex always considered nonconsensual when people have been drinking?

No. The use of alcohol or other drugs, in and of itself, doesn’t automatically mean a person is unable to consent. However, alcohol and drugs make it more difficult for someone to notice their own boundaries, other’s boundaries and clearly consent. When in doubt, it’s best to hold off on engaging in any sexual activity. Additionally, substance use cannot be used as a defense against allegations of sexual misconduct.

If you and your partner have been drinking at all, it’s best to check in verbally before having sex and during sex.

Ask things like:

"How much have you had to drink?"
"Are you feeling buzzed or drunk?"
"Are you feeling sober enough for sex or should we hold off?
Do you still feel like you’re in a good headspace for hooking up?
Do you want to keep going?
Do you want to stop?

Listen to your partner, pay attention to nonverbal cues and respect their boundaries. If they have difficulty responding to questions or aren't answering directly, stop until you know clearly what they want.

How much does someone need to drink before they can no longer give consent?

The impact of alcohol and other drugs varies from person to person. However, if someone is incapacitated for whatever reason, they are no longer able to give consent.

Incapacitation is a state where someone cannot make a rational, reasonable decision because they may lack the capacity to understand the “who, what, where, when and why” of a sexual interaction. Incapacitation is often associated with alcohol or other drug use, but it can also involve other factors like sleep, illness, injury or disability. Here are some signs that indicate a person may be incapacitated and is unable to give consent:

Disorientation. Someone may lose track of where they are or who they are with, seem confused, forget basic information or repeat themselves (lack of short-term memory).
Loss of motor control. Someone may have difficulty performing tasks like inserting a key into a lock, getting something out of their wallet, walking on their own or dressing and undressing themselves.
Unconsciousness. Someone may be unconscious, which includes being asleep.

If these factors are present, consent is not possible regardless of what the person is saying or doing.

Engaging in sexual activity when someone could have understood the other person to be incapacitated is considered sexual assault.

What if people are in a relationship?

In many relationships, consent doesn’t always entail an explicit conversation about sex every time it happens. However, romantic or sexual involvement with someone doesn’t give that person permission to have unwanted sex or contact with someone. The inability for there to be consent when someone is incapacitated still applies even in relationships.

What if people want to have sex while under the influence?

Intentionally choosing to be under the influence of alcohol or another drug while having sex may be something to discuss with your partner when you are both sober. Because consent is ongoing, people who while sober agreed to an intoxicated sexual experience can still change their mind once they are high or tipsy. Alcohol and other drugs can impact the way we communicate, which makes checking in with yourself and with your partner even more important.

If you or your partner become so high or drunk that either one of you are incapacitated (disoriented, loss of motor control, unconscious) or unable to make decisions, sex needs to stop. In that case, consent is not possible.

Campus resources

Don’t Ignore It is an online resource to explore your options for seeking confidential support, reporting concerns and learning skills for helping others. If something seems off, it probably is – don’t ignore it.

The Office of Victim Assistance (OVA) provides free and confidential trauma-focused counseling and advocacy support to undergraduate and graduate students, as well as staff and faculty. They can help people navigate resources, explore all their different rights and options and/or help with processing and healing from the impact of the experience.

The Office of Institutional Equity and Compliance (OIEC) implements and enforces university policies around sexual misconduct, intimate partner abuse and stalking, among other unwelcome behaviors. If you or someone you know in the С�� community has been impacted, reports can be filed online. Individuals can also report something anonymously to OIEC.

Navigating sex can be complicated, especially if alcohol or other drugs are involved. Here are answers to some of the trickier questions around drinking, sex and consent.

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6 tips to help prevent sexual assault

Anonymous — Wed, 25 Oct 2023 06:00:00 +0000

6 tips to help prevent sexual assault Anonymous (not verified) Wed, 10/25/2023 - 00:00

Halloween celebrations that involve alcohol and other substances can also make it easier for problematic behaviors and unwelcome advances to go unnoticed. Here are some tips to stay safe and have fun over Halloween weekend.

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Mental health is… building strong relationships

Anonymous — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 18:28:41 +0000

Mental health is… building strong relationships Anonymous (not verified) Fri, 02/04/2022 - 11:28

While many of us have cultivated new relationships on campus, maintaining those relationships can present new challenges. These relationships can vary from person to person (think friends, partners, family members, boss, coworkers, etc.), but healthy relationships all share a few core traits.

Under each section, you will find a quick guide for ‘red’ and ‘green’ flags in relationships. Green flags are behaviors that promote healthy, strong relationships. Red flags, on the other hand, will help you identify behaviors, patterns or dynamics that may be unhealthy or abusive.

Learn more about healthy, unhealthy and abusive behaviors

Communication

Good communication often starts with listening. Try to focus your full attention on listening to the other person, and resist the urge to plan out your response while they’re speaking. Allow the other person to share their thoughts uninterrupted, and encourage them to do the same for you.

When people feel heard and validated, they are more likely to open up in a conversation. This can also help you both feel more comfortable bringing up issues or expressing yourself. While not every conversation will be easy, both people should feel safe when bringing up potentially difficult topics.

If it’s difficult to share your feelings with another person, this may be a signal that it’s time to build more trust within the relationship.

Communication red flags

Holding back feelings out of fear of judgment or the other person’s response
Responses feel sarcastic, condescending, hurtful or insulting
One person dominates the conversation or utilizes the ‘silent treatment’
Using tactics like gaslighting or manipulation to steer the conversation or outcome a particular way

Communication green flags

You can disagree without feeling attacked or belittled
Discussing your feelings openly without fear of judgement or consequence
Willingness to acknowledge and accept different perspectives
Feeling heard by the other person
Conversations feel balanced between both people (each person has a chance to share)

Boundaries

Boundaries represent the limits, rules or expectations that we set in order to protect our own well-being. Setting healthy boundaries can help you navigate relationships in a more positive way and avoid feelings of anger, resentment or burnout. Here are some examples of boundaries you may set within different relationships.

Physical boundaries refer to your personal space, including:

Touching (handshakes, hugs, kissing, unwanted sexual advances, etc.)
Privacy (personal files, email, texts, etc.)
Personal space (knocking before entering, closed door policies, etc.)

Emotional boundaries refer to your feelings, including:

Personal information (how and when to share, etc.)
Topics of discussion (politics, climate change, academics, etc.)
Respect for ideas and thoughts

Sexual boundaries refer to consent regarding sexual activities, including:

Physical touch (kissing, touching, sex, etc.)
Health (sexually transmitted infections, using protection, birth control, etc.)
Privacy (sharing photos or details of sexual encounters, etc.)

Material boundaries refer to your money and/or physical possessions, including:

Sharing (what, with who, when, permission, etc.)
Spending (budget, means, gifts, lending, etc.)

Time boundaries refer to your personal time and commitments, including:

Personal (friends, hobbies, family, etc.)
School (studying, projects, group work, etc.)
Work (after-hours contact, email, weekly hours, overtime, etc.)

When setting (and enforcing) boundaries, communication is key, especially if someone in your life tends to ignore or overstep your boundaries. For instance, if you have a partner or friend who constantly texts you or expects immediate responses, you can say something like, “I enjoy talking to you, and I need time to study. Drop me a message and I’ll get back to you when I can.”

If you ever feel guilty about setting or enforcing boundaries with others, remember that personal boundaries represent an essential part of self-care. It may take some time and practice to figure out which boundaries are most important to you and how to best implement them in your life.

Boundary red flags

Ignoring or overstepping boundaries after multiple reminders or conversations
Pressuring someone to change or compromise their personal boundaries
Feeling deprived of time, patience, energy or finances
Interpreting boundaries as an attack or insult

Boundary green flags

Feeling comfortable communicating about and enforcing boundaries
Respecting boundaries for yourself and others
Feeling comfortable saying “no” to things that you may not have the time, energy or finances to do

Conflict

Disagreements and conflict are normal in any relationship. It’s common to have different opinions, preferences, beliefs and values from friends, significant others or family members. In some cases, conflict can be a sign that something needs to change within a relationship. Many times, people who ignore or avoid conflict risk facing increased tensions and unmet needs. However, the way we respond to conflict is oftentimes more important than the conflict itself.

Working through a disagreement in a healthy way by talking respectfully and listening to understand each other is an important component of any relationship. If disagreements turn into fights more often than not, it may be time to evaluate how you’re communicating with one another. Try using “I” statements to soften language and use assertive communication. For example, “I would like you to stop doing that,” is a healthier way to say “you need to stop doing that.” You can download a free PDF for examples of active listening and “I” statements from Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution (SCCR).

Conflict red flags

Conflicts escalate or feel difficult to resolve
Avoid disagreeing with the other person out of fear (retaliation, anger, abuse, etc.)
Belittling the other person during disagreements
Conflict is interpreted as a personal attack

Conflict green flags

Comfortable working through disagreements and bringing up issues as they arise
Feel respected and heard, even if the disagreement doesn’t get resolved
Willingness to keep trying or come back to the conversation another time

Resources

Here are a few resources available to С�� Boulder students to support strong relationships and conflict.

Let’s Talk

Drop in for a free and confidential consultation with a CAPS counselor. These sessions are available to help you address concerns related to depression, anxiety, relationships, stress, academic performance, family issues, financial struggles and more.

Group therapy

Process group therapy provides a supportive space for students to explore relationships, interpersonal skills, feedback and strategies to feel more connected with others.

Office of Victim Assistance (OVA)

OVA provides free and confidential support for students, staff and faculty around various traumatic experiences, including intimate partner abuse and domestic violence. Please call 303-492-8855 to talk to an advocacy counselor. After hours support is also available at 303-492-8855, press menu option 2.

Don’t ignore it

Don't Ignore It is a free online resource to help students, staff, faculty and community members navigate reporting options and get help for themselves or others. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Don't ignore it.

Student Conduct and Conflict Resolution (SCCR)

SCCR offers free conflict coaching and other resources for working through disagreements. They’re here to help you build stronger relationships with friends, roommates, professors and other people in your life.

Feel Better Fast

This free three-part workshop is designed to help students make positive changes through mindfulness techniques. You will learn how to make balanced decisions, self-soothe, take a step back from your thoughts and learn to live by your values.

Kognito

Kognito is an avatar-based digital experience that prepares you for the conversations that matter most. Students can access the program for free through their IdentiKey login.

While many of us have cultivated new relationships on campus, maintaining those relationships can present new challenges. Here are some tips to help you build and maintain strong relationships.

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Sexual Health

7 things to know about drug-facilitated sexual assault

1. What is drug-facilitated sexual assault?

2. What should you look out for?

3. What are some common signs of a drugged drink?

4. What should you do if you believe someone has been drugged?

5. What are some medical options?

6. What substances can be used to facilitate sexual assault?

7. What support resources are available?

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6 things everyone should know about ‘love bombing’

1. What is love bombing?

2. What does love bombing look like?

Extreme flattery

Getting too personal too quickly

Pressure to commit

Declarations of love

Intense clinginess

Over-the-top gifts

Constant reassurance

3. What makes love bombing harmful?

4. What could someone do if they suspect love bombing?

Discuss boundaries

Take inventory

Talk to an objective third party

Accept that sometimes things just don’t work out

Prioritize your safety

5. How can I help a friend who is being love bombed?

6. What resources are available?

Campus resources

Community resources

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3 things everyone should know about stalking

January is Stalking Awareness Month

1. Stalking can take many forms

2. Context is key

3. Help is available

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3 tips for dating in college

1) Communicate your intent

2) Embrace authenticity and connection

3) Identify and communicate your boundaries

Free guide for exploring sex

Resources

Support resources

Free safer sex supplies

Read more

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Drinking and sex: Tricky questions (and surprising answers)

What is consent and how is it given?

Is sex always considered nonconsensual when people have been drinking?

How much does someone need to drink before they can no longer give consent?

What if people are in a relationship?

What if people want to have sex while under the influence?

Campus resources

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6 tips to help prevent sexual assault

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Mental health is… building strong relationships

Communication

Boundaries

Conflict

Resources

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